Like We Never Loved At All
by Sarmoti
Summary: Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain. Forgetting everything between our rise and fall, like we never loved at all. Severus/Hermione


**_Like We Never Loved At All_**

**Disclaimer: **This story is for entertainment purposes only, I don't own any of the characters or the lyrics to the song used.

**Set Up: **One Shot Severus/Hermione. Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain.  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall, like we never loved at all.

**A/N: **This is based on a new song by Faith Hill & Tim McGraw. The song can be found on Faith's new CD _Fireflies_, and it is a really pretty song if you have never heard it.

I normally write Sirius/Hermione, and I have never tried Severus/Hermione before. I had this plot bunny when I heard the song, and it didn't seem to fit Sirius/Hermione. I listened over and over, and it only seemed to fit with Severus, so I decided to give it a try. I hope it didn't come out like garbage. It was fun to work on.

Please leave honest reviews on this one!

The lyrics to the song are in bold italics.

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His hand began to shake. Severus Snape scowled as he slammed his empty glass down on the table. Why now? Just when he had thought the pain was starting to become numb, he had to see _her_ again. The rawness in his heart had started wearing off, and she had to walk by and shred it all over again.

It was his own fault, and he knew it. That is what made it hurt more. He gave her up. He pushed her away. He lied to her, hurt her, and shoved her out his door. And why? Because in his foolish mind he thought he was doing her a favor.

Slamming himself down in the old chair by his desk, Severus held his head in his limp, shaking hands. The memories of the last four months with her flew through his mind in rapid speed.

Finding her crying behind the old tree in the Weasley's tacky garden. Her denying anything was wrong, his using legilimency on her because he thought she was attacked. The images in her mind of him teaching or sweeping in and out of meetings. The recalled memories of the hurtful names and words he had used on her the last six years. The realization of what he was seeing and why she was crying.

Admitted feelings, wiped tears, stolen kisses, the first time, the lace of her bras, the smell of her favorite old books, the ink that was always on her fingers, the smooth curls against his cheek. The way she would smile when he would scowl and pick on Longbottom in class.

The way she had smiled the day she graduated. The grin she wore when she told him she wanted to tell everyone about their relationship now that they were not student and teacher. The tears running down her face that same night when he lied to her and pushed her away. The way her eyes went from alive and full of the future to dull and dead as she told him she didn't want to see him again and slammed the door to his office and his heart.

The way she had looked last night in Hogsmeade. Her brown curls hanging wild around her face, the twinkle and life back in her eyes. The ink spots still on her fingers. The smile she wore when talking to the youngest Weasley.

Severus let go of his head; he had been watching this same movie in his mind since seeing her last night. Why her? Why there? And why did she have to look so damn happy? Were all the whispered endearments lies? Did she realize what he had tried to tell her that night three weeks ago, that she deserved more?

_**You never looked so good  
As you did last night  
Underneath those city lights  
There walking with your friend  
Laughing at the moon**_

She was walking with Ginny Weasley down the street in front of the Three Broomsticks when he saw her. She was laughing with the other girl, her smile dazzling. The lights were reflecting off her hair, making it seem alive.

She looked happy. She looked alive again. His heart broke all over again, just seeing that her heart wasn't broke at all. She was happier than he could ever remember her being.

**_I swear you looked right through me  
But I'm still living with your goodbye  
And you're just going on with your life_**

Severus tried to duck between two of the buildings as she started to pass. His sudden movement went unnoticed by the redhead, but Hermione turned suddenly, and he felt her eyes settle on his. He felt the burn in his body as their eyes met. He felt the rapid beating of his heart, and heard the beating of hers. He held his breathe, waiting. She quickly turned back to the other girl, walking by him as if she hadn't seen him at all.

'It shouldn't hurt' Severus told himself. This was what he had wanted that night. He had pushed her to far away on purpose, to give her the happiness he couldn't provide. So why did seeing her happy now hurt so damn much?

**_How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me_**

Standing up, Severus refilled his glass, watching the amber liquid dance in the light. She had been so excited when she had come to him that night. She couldn't wait to tell everyone so they wouldn't have to sneak around anymore.

Severus knew what would happen though. Hermione tried to make it sound wonderful, but she was naïve. He knew exactly how Harry and Ron would react if they knew she was sleeping with the 'greasy bat'. He knew how Molly and Arthur would be disappointed in her, and he knew Ginny would think she was disgusting. Severus knew Dumbledore would have his balls hanging from Gryffindor's sword in no time.

The only one who didn't know how they would all react was Hermione. She lived in her fantasy that everyone would love it, and embrace them as a couple. She believed Harry and Ron would be fine with it, and nothing would change.

Severus knew he couldn't put her through that experience. It would ruin her to know how everyone would really react. He loved her too much to do that to her. "Love." He murmured out loud to the empty room. What a concept, the dreaded potions master in love, with a young, smart, beautiful witch.

Not having the courage to break it off with her himself, he had pushed her that night. Remembering the day by the tree, he recalled her tears for the awful things he had said to her.

She was practically bouncing on her heels waiting to see how he would react to telling Harry first. Reminding himself why, Severus Snape turned around and did the one thing he hated himself for more than anything else.

"Miss. Granger, I never knew you would take our little game this serious. Surely you know I would never want a future with an insufferable little know-it-all? Your body is only mediocre, and your voice is annoying. I can't stand the way your hair gets in my mouth when I try to sleep, and your constant questions give me a headache."

The look of shock mixed with pain on her face destroyed any self-esteem she had helped him build up. What kind of man would do this to her? He wanted to stop and tell her it was a lie. That her body was perfect when it was connected with his, that her voice was like the sweetest music to his ears, that he was going to miss her hair laying across his face and hands, that her questions thrilled him to no end because it was time spent with her.

With a trembling chin, she spoke in a weak voice. "I don't want to see you ever again.". The tears in her eyes and the narrow line of her mouth said it all as she spun around and slammed the door. He hadn't seen her since then, until last night. It was exactly three weeks ago today.

**_Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all_**

"You old fool." He snarled at himself, finishing off the freshly poured glass. Did she miss him? Did she cry for him? Or did she cry because of him?  
**_  
You, I hear you're doing fine  
Seems like you're doing well  
As far as I can tell_**

She must be doing well. The smile should have said it all. What had he expected? For her to break down and cry, fly into his arms? Of course she wouldn't. Not ever again.

A knock on his door interrupted Severus from his current train of thoughts. "What?" he snarled, throwing open his door.

"Severus, how are you on this wonderful evening?" Albus Dumbledore said in his calm, cheerful voice as he pushed his way into the potion masters chambers.

"Bloody wonderful." Severus mumbled, pushing the empty glass behind a stack of books.

"No need to hide that glass from me Severus. I see a lot of things that people think are hidden well." Albus said, his eyes still twinkling.

Severus felt his heart skip a beat. Did Albus know more than he was letting on to? "I was just having a drink headmaster. Would you like one?" he asked.

"No, maybe another time. I have some of these wonderful muggle creations." Albus Dumbledore said, pulling out a handful of colorful candies from his pocket. "They aren't supposed to melt in your hand, but they have made a terrible mess in my pocket."

"What a pity." Severus said sarcastically.

"What was that?" Albus replied.

"Nothing sir." Severus said.

"My boy, I haven't seen you out of your office much since school let out. Are you, by any chance, missing the golden trio?"

Severus frowned at the headmaster. "Why would I miss the most annoying students in Hogwarts history?"

"It was just a thought Severus. No need to get worked up." Dumbledore chewed on his candy as he studied the dark man sitting before him. "You know these candies…."

Severus scowled at the headmaster. He heard the old fool talking about some kind of colored candy factory, but his mind tuned him out, focusing on _her_ again. How did she forget it all so fast? It would be so much easier if he could just forget it all. He would do anything to erase the sound of her whispering his name in the dark.

**_Time is leaving us behind  
Another week has passed  
And still I haven't laughed yet  
So tell me what your secret is  
To letting go like you did, like you did_**

"I ran into Miss. Granger the other day you know." Dumbledore's voice broke through his hazy thoughts.

"You did what?" Severus asked, trying not to sound any more excited.

"I saw Miss. Granger the other day. She was at the bookstore." Albus repeated.

"What a surprise. Miss. Granger at a bookstore." Severus replied, trying to put a sarcastic tone to his voice.

"I am a bit worried about her. She wasn't herself at all. The poor girl has lost her color, she smiled and talked to me like normal, but something was wrong. Something was missing from her. It was like her spirit had been removed. The smile, the laugh, they were fake." Albus said.

"Maybe she misses school, she is a know-it-all, or maybe it's the impending war, or…"

"Or maybe it's the man who she fell in love with that broke her heart because he was to afraid to be loved." Albus Dumbledore interrupted him.

Severus felt his mouth flapping open, as he looked the headmaster in the eyes. "I… I…"

"The muggles say you'll catch flies if you leave your mouth like that Severus my boy. I have known for quite sometime you know. While I do not condone such behavior at school, I knew you two were meant for this, and it was what you both needed. You did such a good job being discreet, I felt no need to step in." The older wizard took another handful of candies from his pocket.

"I don't believe… I…. I wasn't afraid to be loved." Severus admitted.

"Then what was it dear boy?" Albus asked.

Severus couldn't believe he was talking about his love life with the headmaster. "I was afraid of how others would treat her." He answered honestly.

"So you punished her for the way others may or may not behave?" Albus asked.

"It doesn't matter anyways Albus. She has moved on. I saw her just last night." Severus sighed.

"I think Miss. Granger is just a better actress than you think." Albus replied, standing up. "Perhaps she is hiding how she feels for you."

"For me?" Severus exclaimed, jumping up. "Why would she be pretending it never mattered to help me?"

"Maybe she thinks you hurt her that night because _you_ were ashamed of the relationship and you didn't want people to know you had been seeing her."

"That's ridiculous. I was never as proud as I was when she was by my side." Severus mumbled.

"But does she know that? After everything that was said, do you expect her to believe that?" Albus remarked. "Maybe she pretends so nobody notices and you don't get embarrassed."

"How could she think that way?" Severus asked nobody in particular.

"I must be going Severus. It appears I am out of candy." Albus said, turning the knob on the door. "Goodnight."

"Headmaster." Severus nodded at the older wizard as he left the room.

**_How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me  
Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all_**

His legs hurt from passing the small office. The things Albus said were running through his head. Did she miss him? Was her smile really fake? Severus wanted to go to her so bad, but the thought of the ridicule she would face held him back.

Would anyone understand their relationship? "Not a chance." Severus murmured out loud.

Severus reached for his glass, but his hand stopped, hanging in midair. He loved her, and he had let her go because of what others would think. What did it matter what others think? He hadn't let that stop him from anything he had done before. Why not give her that same chance.

His heart leapt in his chest as he grabbed his cloak and reached for the floo powder by his fireplace.

**_Did you forget the magic  
Did you forget the passion  
Did you ever miss me  
Ever long to kiss me_**

Hermione sighed as she heard Ron and Harry talking in the background. They were playing a game of Wizard Chess in the corner of the study. They had asked her to play, but she wasn't in the mood. Instead, she had grabbed one of Remus' new books and curled up on the couch. The fire across the room was burning merrily, and the twins' laughter was loud from the kitchen.

Hermione felt miserable despite all of that. She had to see _him_ again last night. Why couldn't he just go away? He didn't love her, nothing had been real, and yet he looked haunted when their eyes had met last night.

A loud bang interrupted her chain of thoughts as the fire exploded.

"Who flooed in?" Fred asked, walking in the room with George behind him. Harry and Ron stopped their game, turning to the fireplace.

Hermione looked up to see Severus Snape stepping out of the fire, ash and soot covering his black cloak.

She stood up slowly, the book falling to the floor.

Severus never took his eyes off her, he didn't care who else was in the room, all he saw was Hermione.

"I didn't mean any of it." He said, walking quickly towards her.

Hermione barely had time to think before he was there, sweeping her up in his embrace and kissing her.

**_How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me  
Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all  
You, you never looked so good_**

Harry and Ron quickly pushed Fred and George out of the room, closing the door softly.

"Did you see her kissing that bat?" Fred asked them, his twin speechless.

"Yeah. Finally, I thought he was never going to admit to it in front of us." Harry replied.

"YOU KNEW?" Fred bellowed.

"For awhile now. They just had to work some things out." Harry answered. "Now come on, let's go steal some cookies."

FIN

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